Hello there, Quil.
I read your page, and especially your essays about you and your cat sound damm familiar to me. I once went through a similar period as the one you're apparently right now going through, and you have no idea how lucky you are you're doing it now, and not when you're 20, like I was when I finally admitted to myself what I am.
Having pent up the animal for years, it took almost full control when I finally let it out. Balancing the scales, as you so nicely say, was not possible then. However, I eventually developed on.
Today, I and my animal are one.
There are no differences anymore. I perfom well in daily life, I have little to no problems anymore interacting with the human world.
Because me and my animal have fused into a single being. The scales don't exist anymore, there is no difference. We are one.
Why am I telling you all this?
The reason is, that I think you're suffering not a little bit under what you are at the moment. I want to tell you, and if you let me, show you that there is a way to integrate yourself and become a better, albeit slightly different being.
If you would like to add me to your friends list, I'd feel honoured.
My name is Akeela, and I am Wolf.